DDT

He’s baaack
The Pirate returns to the stage
Mike "The Mad Pirate" Leach, sidelined for a couple seasons because of legal problems—mainly on account of he got fired—came up short in Wazzoo’s debut against BYU: 30 or 45 passing for only 229 yards and no touches. Two picks, three sacks. No running game to speak of.

Ahh, but best of all, The Pirate was in rare half-time interview form. He almost walked the little sideline reporter girl into a wall as he hustled to the locker room, refusing to stop and talk, just sort of throwing comments over his shoulder, ending the conversation with his back to her by evaluating his QB’s performance in the first half as “...ehh, average.” End of interview.

Welcome to real world, gal. She’s going to have to get the director to throw it her while he’s still in the bench area because when he gets to the tunnel he ain’t stopping and things start getting crowded.

Johnnies open with win
The St. John's Johnnies of Collegeville, Minnesota (DivThree) opened the 2012 campaign with a 52-7 romp over Northwestern College of Minnesota. A home crowd of 7,314 saw head coach John Gagliardi, the winningest coach in college football, begin his 64th season as a head coach, his 60th at St. Johns. The win was his 485th.

‘Bama to the White House 
The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States. She’s from Alabama.
    A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Birmingham and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will becoming to my inauguration?
    "I don't think so. It's a long drive, your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."
    Eventually her parents agree to attend, and on January 20, 2024 arrive to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.
    The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. The President's dad notices a Senator sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman up there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
    The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes, I do."
    Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football at ALABAMA."