"If you wish to be happy for an hour, get intoxicated. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for eight days, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, beat Amherst."
–Retired Williams College coach Renzie Lamb
Williams, Amherst tee it up in annual rivalry game
Ephs meet Lord JeffsWILLIAMSTOWN, Mass — Saturday, it will be the Williams College Ephs against the Amherst Lord Jeffs in one of college football’s oldest rivalry games. The series began in 1884.
Ephs is short for Ephraim Williams who founded the college. But their mascot is not an Ephraim. At the beginning of the 20th century there was a popular campus humor magazine called “The Purple Cow” so in 1907, by a vote of the student body, the college mascot was proclaimed to be a purple cow, even though they’re called the Ephs (pronounced Eeefs). Ephs, Purple Cows. Purple Cows, Ephs. Get it?
Amherst is the Lord Jeffs. The college is named after Lord Jeffery Amherst, commanding general of British forces in North America during the final battles of the so-called French and Indian war (1754-1763). The town Amherst was named after him, later the college.
Grudge match
The rivalry between the two Massachusetts colleges goes back to a time before football in the early 1800s when Williams' second president, Zephaniah Swift Moore, left the school to create his own college—Amherst. He took with him some faculty, students, and library books. Some at Williams still call Amherst students and alumni "The Defectors."
Overdue books
A few years ago, the Williams band did some calculations and billed the Amherst band for $18 billion—a fine, with interest, for Moore's "overdue" books.
The Walk
A long-standing tradition at Williams is “The Walk.” If Williams wins, the entire team will walk to St. Pierre’s Barber Shop on Spring Street where a celebration will break out, whence anyone wishing to have their head shaved—and some who don’t—may get a free haircut.
Amherst 7-0 in the New England Small College Athletic Conference (NESCAC) and headed for the DivThree playoffs. Williams is 5-2 and in third place in the conference.
Top 5 / Bottom 5 in DivOne attendance prior the Nov. 5 weekend.
Average attendance per game at home.
The Top:
1. Michigan, averaging 111,597 in six games.
2. Penn State, averaging 100, 348 in six.
3. Tennessee, 96,260 in six.
4. Ohio State, 105,186 in five.
5. Alabama, 101,821 in five.
The Bottom:
1. Eastern Michigan, 4,620 in four in a 30K-seat stadium. Attendance Saturday was 3,288 for their loss against Ball State. But the Eagles are 5-4, which gives them more wins than they’ve had in the past three years. They haven’t had a winning season since 1995 (6-5) and have only had six winning seasons in the 37 years since they joined the MAC in DivOne (1975). Evidently, their fans haven’t forgotten.
2. Kent State, 12,284 in four in a 20K-seat seat building. Attendance Friday was 10,132 for their Friday win over Central Michigan.
3. Idaho, 12,732 in five in a 16K-seat dome. Won on the road against San Jose where 10,621 were on hand in a 30K-seat building.
4. Western Kain’tuck, 15,284 in four in a 22K-seat stadium. Pulled 15,293 for a 10-9 win over FIU. Three-quarters full. Not too bad, but numbers in the 15s are not DivOne football.
5. New Mexico State, 15,743 in four in a 30K-seat building. Played on the road in front 92,746 at Georgia. The noise must have been bothersome. The Aggies lost 63-16.
Some major programs with low attendance this season are Cal, Northwestern and Cincinnati. Cal’s stadium is in remodel. The Bears are only averaging 37K playing at the San Francisco Giant’s ball park. Meanwhile, back in Berkeley, the “smokers” on Free Loaders Hill are sitting there, toking up, going, “When does the game start, man?” Northwestern is averaging 38K in a 47K-seat building. Cinncy is averaging 29K in a 35K-seat stadium, which is more than three-quarters full but with only a 35K-seater to work with ... and they wonder why the Big East has a problem.
The Heisman race
What do Don McPherson (Syracuse), Lorenzo White (Michigan State), Craig Heyward (Pitt), Chris Spielman (Ohio State), Thurman Thomas (Oklahoma State), Gaston Green (UCLA), Emmitt Smith (Florida) and Bobby Humphrey (Alabama) have in common?
They were the runners-up in the 1987 Heisman voting when Touchdown Jesus’ beauty queen, Tim Brown, was named winner by the Downtown Athletic Club of New York.
DDT overruled the “committee” and named Gordie Lockbaum of Holy Cross the winner that year and in several subsequent years, including 2010.
Lockbaum currently leads Andrew Luck (Stanford), Kellen Moore (Boise State), and Trent Richardson (Alabama) in this year’s DDT Heisman voting.
BCS or FCS? Which is the better choice?
Interesting that with all the whore-dog conference jumping that’s happening that no teams are realigning themselves in DivOneAA (aka the FCS). We’re still seeing schools like Texas State, UTSA and Western Kentucky moving up to DivOne, where they’ll be guaranteed a number of suicidal losses playing for cash on the road against the big dogs outside their conference. Another manifestation of CRI that is viral in college athletics, now.
DDT is on record as having said: All three service academies should drop back to DivOneAA; the entire MAC, WAC and Sunbelt, especially the Sunbelt, should be in OneAA; a number of Conference USA and Mountain West squads should join them.
With some of the culls like UNLV and New Mexico out of the picture, the Mountain West should be made a BCS conference. In ConfUSA, programs like Rice, Tulane and UAB are too far gone to ever be a factor again and should drop back. Then what’s left of ConfUSA could merge with the Big East to salvage their BCS standing. The Big East is already after UCF, SMU and Memphis.
The Big East doesn’t need any help in basketball where, as a 16-member league, they’re one of the top in the country. Which makes us wonder why Pitt and ‘Cuse jumped to the ACC.
“We’re becoming a part of one of the top hoops conferences in the country,” they said.
Sez DDT: “You already WERE part of one of the top hoops conferences in the country. Duh-uh!”
It’s possible that the administrations at Pitt and ‘Cuse have been infiltrated by Aggies.
Another of our proposals is an academic conference with strict caps on budgets. Some candidates, schools with higher academic standards and graduation rates than the Top 25 (the NFL farm teams) might be Rice, SMU, Vanderbilt, Wake Forest, Duke, Army, Navy, Air Force, Northwestern, Baylor, and Tulane. Stanford and Notre Dame have high standards but are hooked on money and win enough to run with the high-profile “pros.” Either one would be an asset to an academic loop if they’d cut their budgets and get real about expectations of national championships.
The Academies
Air Force, 5-4, beat Army 24-14. Next week, Wyoming.
Navy, 3-6, beat Troy 42-14. Next week, at SMU.
Army, 3-6, lost to Air Force 14-24. Next week, Rutgers.
Air Force will take home the Commander in Chief’s Trophy having beaten both Army and Navy.
Amherst is the Lord Jeffs. The college is named after Lord Jeffery Amherst, commanding general of British forces in North America during the final battles of the so-called French and Indian war (1754-1763). The town Amherst was named after him, later the college.
Grudge match
The rivalry between the two Massachusetts colleges goes back to a time before football in the early 1800s when Williams' second president, Zephaniah Swift Moore, left the school to create his own college—Amherst. He took with him some faculty, students, and library books. Some at Williams still call Amherst students and alumni "The Defectors."
Overdue books
A few years ago, the Williams band did some calculations and billed the Amherst band for $18 billion—a fine, with interest, for Moore's "overdue" books.
The Walk
A long-standing tradition at Williams is “The Walk.” If Williams wins, the entire team will walk to St. Pierre’s Barber Shop on Spring Street where a celebration will break out, whence anyone wishing to have their head shaved—and some who don’t—may get a free haircut.
Amherst 7-0 in the New England Small College Athletic Conference (NESCAC) and headed for the DivThree playoffs. Williams is 5-2 and in third place in the conference.
Top 5 / Bottom 5 in DivOne attendance prior the Nov. 5 weekend.
Average attendance per game at home.
The Top:
1. Michigan, averaging 111,597 in six games.
2. Penn State, averaging 100, 348 in six.
3. Tennessee, 96,260 in six.
4. Ohio State, 105,186 in five.
5. Alabama, 101,821 in five.
The Bottom:
1. Eastern Michigan, 4,620 in four in a 30K-seat stadium. Attendance Saturday was 3,288 for their loss against Ball State. But the Eagles are 5-4, which gives them more wins than they’ve had in the past three years. They haven’t had a winning season since 1995 (6-5) and have only had six winning seasons in the 37 years since they joined the MAC in DivOne (1975). Evidently, their fans haven’t forgotten.
2. Kent State, 12,284 in four in a 20K-seat seat building. Attendance Friday was 10,132 for their Friday win over Central Michigan.
3. Idaho, 12,732 in five in a 16K-seat dome. Won on the road against San Jose where 10,621 were on hand in a 30K-seat building.
4. Western Kain’tuck, 15,284 in four in a 22K-seat stadium. Pulled 15,293 for a 10-9 win over FIU. Three-quarters full. Not too bad, but numbers in the 15s are not DivOne football.
5. New Mexico State, 15,743 in four in a 30K-seat building. Played on the road in front 92,746 at Georgia. The noise must have been bothersome. The Aggies lost 63-16.
Some major programs with low attendance this season are Cal, Northwestern and Cincinnati. Cal’s stadium is in remodel. The Bears are only averaging 37K playing at the San Francisco Giant’s ball park. Meanwhile, back in Berkeley, the “smokers” on Free Loaders Hill are sitting there, toking up, going, “When does the game start, man?” Northwestern is averaging 38K in a 47K-seat building. Cinncy is averaging 29K in a 35K-seat stadium, which is more than three-quarters full but with only a 35K-seater to work with ... and they wonder why the Big East has a problem.
The Heisman race
What do Don McPherson (Syracuse), Lorenzo White (Michigan State), Craig Heyward (Pitt), Chris Spielman (Ohio State), Thurman Thomas (Oklahoma State), Gaston Green (UCLA), Emmitt Smith (Florida) and Bobby Humphrey (Alabama) have in common?
They were the runners-up in the 1987 Heisman voting when Touchdown Jesus’ beauty queen, Tim Brown, was named winner by the Downtown Athletic Club of New York.
DDT overruled the “committee” and named Gordie Lockbaum of Holy Cross the winner that year and in several subsequent years, including 2010.
Lockbaum currently leads Andrew Luck (Stanford), Kellen Moore (Boise State), and Trent Richardson (Alabama) in this year’s DDT Heisman voting.
BCS or FCS? Which is the better choice?
Interesting that with all the whore-dog conference jumping that’s happening that no teams are realigning themselves in DivOneAA (aka the FCS). We’re still seeing schools like Texas State, UTSA and Western Kentucky moving up to DivOne, where they’ll be guaranteed a number of suicidal losses playing for cash on the road against the big dogs outside their conference. Another manifestation of CRI that is viral in college athletics, now.
DDT is on record as having said: All three service academies should drop back to DivOneAA; the entire MAC, WAC and Sunbelt, especially the Sunbelt, should be in OneAA; a number of Conference USA and Mountain West squads should join them.
With some of the culls like UNLV and New Mexico out of the picture, the Mountain West should be made a BCS conference. In ConfUSA, programs like Rice, Tulane and UAB are too far gone to ever be a factor again and should drop back. Then what’s left of ConfUSA could merge with the Big East to salvage their BCS standing. The Big East is already after UCF, SMU and Memphis.
The Big East doesn’t need any help in basketball where, as a 16-member league, they’re one of the top in the country. Which makes us wonder why Pitt and ‘Cuse jumped to the ACC.
“We’re becoming a part of one of the top hoops conferences in the country,” they said.
Sez DDT: “You already WERE part of one of the top hoops conferences in the country. Duh-uh!”
It’s possible that the administrations at Pitt and ‘Cuse have been infiltrated by Aggies.
Another of our proposals is an academic conference with strict caps on budgets. Some candidates, schools with higher academic standards and graduation rates than the Top 25 (the NFL farm teams) might be Rice, SMU, Vanderbilt, Wake Forest, Duke, Army, Navy, Air Force, Northwestern, Baylor, and Tulane. Stanford and Notre Dame have high standards but are hooked on money and win enough to run with the high-profile “pros.” Either one would be an asset to an academic loop if they’d cut their budgets and get real about expectations of national championships.
The Academies
Air Force, 5-4, beat Army 24-14. Next week, Wyoming.
Navy, 3-6, beat Troy 42-14. Next week, at SMU.
Army, 3-6, lost to Air Force 14-24. Next week, Rutgers.
Air Force will take home the Commander in Chief’s Trophy having beaten both Army and Navy.
Signs You're Watching Too Much Football
•Before lovemaking, you flip a coin to see who will receive.
•You've been banned from your neighborhood grocery for spiking melons.
•The kids bring home a good report card and you dump Gatorade on them.
•During lovemaking, you use a play clock.
•You fell in love with your wife because she looks like John Madden.
1 comment:
It's hard to fathom the amount of cash some of these programs generate. I'd imagine an 'average' seat for a game at Michigan is at least $100. So they are generating something in excess of $ 10,000,000 - just on admission, plus parking, plus programs, concessions, and so on, and so on - every home game weekend. Then of course, there is television revenue . . . it simply boggles the mind - especially when you remember these are 'amateur' players and cannot benefit from the proceeds. Somebody is making a lot of money on their back.
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