DDT

Lockbaum, Webb lead in DDT's Heisman voting

The candidates: 
Jameis Winston, Freshman, Florida State. Disqualified. DDT does not recognize freshmen as Heisman candidates.

Johnny “Johnny Football” Manziel, Sophomore, Texas State Boys and Girls Home for Farmers and Mechanics. Disqualified. He won it last year. Once is enough.

Marcus Mariotti, Sophomore, Oregon. Disqualified. Great players make great plays in great games, but he folded in the big game with Stanford a couple weeks ago.

L-R, Winston, Manziel, Mariotta

Bryce Petty, Junior, Baylor. He’s having a good year, but he’s a junior. Next year.

A.J. McCarron, Senior, Alabama. Probably the best candidate. He leads the number one team in the nation and led them to a national championship last year. If winning is what it’s all about, he’s almost elected. But, whoa, what’s this with all the ‘toos? Why does a good lookin’ white kid fester up his torso with a bunch of tribal graffiti?

Katherine Webb, Miss Alabama, A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend. She cleans up pretty good and has no ‘toos. DDT is considering her ahead of McCarron for the trophy.

L-R, Petty, McCarron, Webb

Gordie Lockbaum, graduate, Holy Cross, class of ‘87. DDT declared Lockbaum winner of the Heisman for something like nine out of the last ten years because he’s the last true all-round candidate who has been nominated for the award: He played O, he played D, he did the kicking, he returned kicks. Most of the other “winners,” who DDT disqualified, were either the products of big publicity machines or racked up a lot of spectacular offensive stats in late-season, high-profile games—which was just media puppy love in the glow of the wine.

Lockbaum

Lockbaum leads DDT’s Heisman voting at this point, followed by Katherine Webb, who is a close second. Distance thirds are McCarron and Petty.

The Jammies
DDT’s equivalent of the Oscars and Emmys and all that. Our Jammies go to teams who wear the worst looking uni’s every week. Oregon has dominated the award for the past couple years, but Maryland has made a run this year, and, last week, Texas Tech racked up some votes, not only by wearing some really cluttered jammies but also by calling attention to themselves by getting their butts handed to them in a sack by KState on national TV.

Maryland continues to experiment with remnants of their state flag.

Tech's helmets were used for practice by an automobile spray painting class.

The Academies






Navy, 5-4, beat Hawaii 42-28. This week, at home against South Alabama.
Army, 3-7, lost to Western Kain’tuck 21-17. This week, at Hawaii.
Air Force, 2-8, lost a track meet to New Mexico 45-37. This week, at home against UNLV

"These are work clothes." —Darrell Royal

And this just in: Add to our bubble alert: Will Muschamp, Florida; Brady Hoke, Michigan and Frank Solich, Ohio.

Bad years all around. Muschamp is 22-13 in three years at The Swamp, but is 4-5 this year with four losses in a row, including last week—at home!—against Vandy and has no quality wins this season. Hoke is 25-10 in three years at the Big House but is 6-3 this year with two quality losses in a row and is next to last in the Legends division of the Big Ten.

Two of the biggest most highly funded programs in the country won't tolerate mediocrity.

Ohio doesn't expect much. Solich is 65-48 in Athens, is 2-3 in bowls, but his Wildcats seem to have gone to the house. Blowout losses in the past two weeks.

Reference: Early bubble alert (see my post of 10/28)
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