DDT

DDT’s Bubble Watch

“If you don’t own the club or die on the job you’re going to get fired.” —Casey Stengel to the manager of a baseball team that was struggling. Moral: Don’t worry about it, do the best you can, and when the Turk says report to AD’s office and bring your attorney, take the money and run.
 
The Big Three: 
Brian Kelley, Notre Dame: The head football coach at Notre Dame is perpetually on the bubble. Anything short of the national championship is viewed with skepticism by the  diciples of Touchdown Jesus. And it will probably take one of Jesus’ miracles for ND to ever win another national title, or, in the meantime, for Kelley to keep his job.

Gus Malzahn, Auburn: Another coach who kneels before the altar of Our Lady of What Have You Done for Me Lately, and who, like his predecessors, can only be saved by winning the big one. Gene Chizik won the Big One for Auburn, then got the sack two years later. Tommy Tuberville, won there, then jumped to Texas Tech after meddling alums and ADs went behind his back to flirt with other coaches who they thought could do better. Before that, Terry Bowden got enough of Auburn’s drama queens and quit in the middle of the season. Malzahn’s days are numbered and he knows it. He beat Les Miles a couple of weeks ago in the Unemployment Bowl. The next day Miles got canned. It’s just a matter of time for Malzahn.

Charlie Strong, Texas: Texas officials have always suffered from cranial rectal inversion, an affliction that sent Darrel Royal into early retirement, that foolishly ran off Fred Akers, who had a winning percentage and beat Bear Bryant in the Cotton Bowl, that replaced him with the young Messiah David McWilliams, who promptly led the program into mediocrity, then hired John Mackovic who was totally unsuited for the culture at Texas, whatever that is. Evidently it’s an “is you is or is you ain’t” culture in Austin, and for most UT coaches it’s mostly “ain’t.”

Then Mack Brown came on board, won a national championship, and but for the injury to Colt McCoy early in the national title tilt with Alabama should have won another. But Mack was eventually found unworthy by one of Texas’ worst hires, AD Steve Patterson, who was eventually fired for gross delusional arrogance in the face of reality.

Now comes Charlie Strong, who in his third year hasn’t won the national championship and won’t win it this year, so it’s “off with his head,” and let’s lure another adventurer to Austin who is willing to risk his emotional health to try and satisfy the patricians who rule the UT program. At least the new general, even though he, like an ancient gladiator, will die for the emperor’s and the proletariat’s entertainment, will be paid well.

Strong deserves at least one more year after this one so that his first recruiting class will be seniors and be able to show their metal. He has had two top ten recruiting classes in the past two years and has some talent. It’s just a matter of those players having a chance to mature and deliver.

Other Bubble riders: 
Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech: A respectable 62-44 in nine years, and big win over Mississippi State in the 2014 Orange Bowl. But 3-9 last year and off to a bad start this season doesn’t look good for PJ. Meanwhile others have come to power in the ACC. GT must keep up or else.

Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern: Eleven years on the job, and NW has been a perpetual bridesmaid. But in the Big Ten with Ohio State, Wisconsin, Michigan State, and now with the resurrection of Michigan, who can become the bride? NW patriarchs must decide if they’ll settle for a “just average” record or spend some money and assault the summit. So far, it has been a charge at Cemetery Ridge.

Darrel Hazell, Purdue: A record of 6-30 in four years and 2-10 last year doesn’t add up. Another dead-end coaching job. Boilers are overmatched in the Big Ten and should consider joining a mid-major.

David Bailiff, Rice: The Owls aren’t winning, rarely win, and Rice fathers know that. Thus, it doesn’t really matter who’s coaching there. Might as well stick with the guy, because the next guy will lose, too. Academic standards are too high at Rice, which makes the recruitment of athletes who want to play in prime time on TV for an NFL farm team like Alabama difficult. Further evidence that the Owls should drop back to the FCS (aka DivOneAA). But Bailiff’s 53-60 record going into this season, and his 0-5 start may end it for him.

Bob Davie, New Mexico: Five years at UNM with only 18 wins against 23 losses going into this season. One bowl game, but it wasn’t enough to bring out the fans. Average attendance is way below the 34K seat capacity of the Lobos home field. Add to that, Albuquerque is a tough place to recruit to. The campus looks like a scene from a lowly neighborhood in LA. Another dead-end job with little chance of prosperity.

Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State: Unfortunately, DeRuyter’s predecessors proved that you can win at Fresno, thus by comparison his 3-9 record last year, 29-23 overall mark in five years, with an 0-3 bowl record against minor opponents won’t keep him employed there.

Rich Rodriguez, Arizona: Five years in Tucson and RichRod has failed to reach the summit. Made the Fiesta Bowl two years ago (and lost) but the program has taken a dip in the past two years. Record of 7-6 last season and off to a bad start this year. He had some success at West Virginia but failed at Michigan and now is proving that he leapt into the deep end of the pool when he left coal-mining country. Say “goodnight,” Rich.

Clay Helton, USC: An assistant who inherited Steve Sarkisian’s train wreck and hasn’t quite gotten the train back on the track and may have risen to a level above his abilities.

Ed Orgeron, LSU: Interim after the firing of Les Miles. Orgeron is campaigning hard to keep the job, but he’ll have to beat Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi, and Texas A&M to have a chance. Then again, if Tom Herrman of UH, the golden boy everybody wants right now, is offered the job it will be his, and Orgeron will suffer the same fate that befell him at USC. “Thanks for filling in, Dude, but it’s time to say ‘sayonara.’”